#twkes time you know

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

this year I’d love if we, collectively, tried to address the sort of semi-passive oxidation-esque kind of oppositional hostility that a lot of people in fandom build up over time.

I don’t mean the binary labels that the fandom seemed to split into sometime in 2018 or so using terms I completely missed the formation of) I just mean like…in general.

I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t suck to have people going around telling you you’re a bad person because you want some characters to kiss, but like…you don’t want to be thinking that everyone that doesn’t agree with you hates you, right? (or even people who do agree with you, but just not completely.)

that would stress you the hell out, and make fandom way less fun for you, and if it’s not even true that would be sad as hell.

and we aren’t in fandom to be sad unless we’re purposefully clicking on the angst and whump tags, and that’s more about blorbo being sad than us being sad…you know?

this time last year, I promised myself that I would make an effort to have a more clear gaze about interactions I had in the fandom space and on the internet generally. To stop snapping at shadows, and get a little less defensive. And then I (completely separately and not at all on purpose) spent the turn of the year and the following year posting fics that got like one kudos in the first few hours of posting, and over all one or two comments at all. And I know that if I wasn’t already coming into it trying to take things with a grain of salt, I could have really let it make me angry, and hurt.

but like so people don’t want to read fics without a certain blorbo in them? so what? in the end there were people who really fucking loved those fics and thankfully my soul was fed very much by their enthusiasm. if you commented on one of my less popular fics last year I adore you. I’m glad you liked what I liked.

last year I wrote a much better post about this but then deleted it thinking it was a bit preachy but like…nah. this genuinely helped my mental health so much last year so I’m making another attempt.

I really love being in fandom because it’s just really wild being in a frothing pit of people pursuing very self indulgent creative practices and others revelling in that indulgence and honestly, it’s very cool. But it does come with a lot of really annoying shit that if we aren’t careful, can turn into genuinely harmful behaviour, because fighting about shit that has such a highly emotional component is just so easy.

this thing makes me feel deeply, so it feels deeply personal. but there are other people feeling just as deeply about completely contradictory thing. we can absolutely behave normally about this, and have a good time. don’t let shit stirrers who have building fandom wars as a hobby ruin this shit for you.

[cheaploafs]

i think a lot about the post-veilguard ivy and lucanis spend time together and it always feels so limiting in terms of time but they always make the most of it somehow

[penkura]

Hey there my lovely penguin lover,

I hope you will like my idea. I would love to see a scenario where penguin has a fever or something like that and y/n takes care of him. And maybe he has a fever dream and is confessing his feelings for y/n and because he is delulu in this moment maybe he thinks its a dream and kiss her or something like that and the next day he doesnt remember anything anymore. Y/n is flustered af and shachi (maybe the Rest of the crew) is teasing him because they knew that he might done something.

Does this make any sense? Anyway i hope you will like this idea. Many love to you and twke care of yourself.

Omggg hiiii fellow Penguin lover, your fics make me so happy to see them omg.

I loved this request sm, but I had to break it into two parts! I didn't want it to be too long and wanted to make sure I hit everything, but here's part one! I'll have part two posted soon and tag you in it of course!! :)

Normally you wouldn’t mind being left behind while the rest of your crew took off to visit and scope out the most recent island you’ve surfaced it, your captain Law giving you all a reprieve to have a small break and stretch your legs. You’d go into town with Ikkaku, or Shachi and Penguin, sometimes Bepo, and start to find where you could restock anything that was needed, before reporting to Law and him letting you go do as you pleased. Ikkaku was likely to drag you into all the stores to find new clothes and the like, Penguin would always look out for a bookstore to take you to, and Shachi and Bepo would find a place for all of you to have a meal together before you returned to the Polar Tang. That’s under normal circumstances though.

Today, you’d rather be out and in the sun, but you’ve been enlisted to take care of the bedridden Penguin. He’d suddenly come down with a fever the day before, your captain believing it to be stress, it didn’t seem to be viral or anything like that. Penguin had likely overworked himself, something he’d become prone to doing lately for some reason, you’ve even told him to relax numerous times, somethings could wait until a bit later to be done, but he’d quickly brush you off with a smile and run off to whatever was next.

“What a sorry state you’ve gotten yourself into, Penguin,” you hum while watching him, a damp washcloth covering from his forehead down over his eyes while he tried to breathe easily, “I told you all of that stuff could wait, or I could’ve helped you…”

Penguin has been out of it for hours now. He’s woken up a few times, almost in delusion from his fever, once thinking he was in the ocean outside the submarine and another time believing there were aliens hiding in the ship. Law tried to keep him asleep longer with a light sedative, that was before the alien dream that woke him in complete terror. He only calmed down enough to go back to bed when you started talking to him, promising him everything was fine, and he let you walk him back to his bed. Law requested you stay behind today, it seemed like Penguin was only going to stay calm with you around, but he’d send Shachi or Ikkaku back later to give you a break.

Now, he’s been completely calm and sleeping the last couple of hours, it makes you happy to see him finally relaxing. You do wonder how on earth it was only you who could calm him down, not even Shachi was able to convince him to lay back down after the second fever dream. Your red-haired friend snickered a bit, saying something along the lines of “as if you don’t know”, but you really don’t, you’re still confused by it. Ikkaku had wished you good luck when she left, a smile on her face that told her she was thinking about your crush on Penguin, and how you now had alone time with him, even though he’s sick in bed.

You flip through a magazine Ikkaku let you borrow for a few minutes, before you hear Penguin start to stir, moving to take the washcloth of his face before you move to stop it.

“Hey, wait, you still need that, Penguin,” grabbing his hand to stop him, you realize the washcloth isn’t cool anymore, he must be warming up again, “Let me get this wet again, lay back down.”

Penguin barely recognizes that its you taking care of him, his fever is making everything foggy in his head, its like he’s not really there. But he believes he must be dreaming again, there’s no way you, who he’s been absolutely enthralled and in love with the last three years, was taking care of him. Its another fever dream, right? Right, it must be Ikkaku taking care of him this time, the fever is just making him think it’s you. He sits up and tries to focus on your back, still convinced it’s just Ikkaku taking care of him, and just starts talking.

“Hey…Ikka…you think she’ll…hate me?”

“What’re you talking about? Who would hate you?”

“[Y/N]…will she hate me?”

Once you have the washcloth wet again, you bring it over to Penguin and start pressing it against his forehead, tilting your head in confusion in the process.

“Why would I—she hate you?”

“Cause I…I love her so much…but haven’t told her…”

Stopping, your face feels flush, and your heart picks up, not having expected that from Penguin. Ikkaku has never told you that Penguin has feelings for you, let alone that he’s in love with you. She’s never giving you even a hint that he might like you back, even with you constantly swooning over him secretly. She seemed to have a smile every time you did, always telling you to just go down the hall and tell him, it had been four years for heaven’s sake, its about time some kind of romance happened on this submarine!

“I…what?”

“You’re a girl…how do I tell her?”

At least he can’t tell that it’s actually you he’s talking to, the fever is really doing its work on him. He really thinks he’s talking to Ikkaku, you wonder how many times they’ve gone back and forth about this, if he’s asking about it now.

“Just,” you take a deep breath and try to make him lay down, but he’s still much stronger than you even bedridden with a high fever, he doesn’t budge, “Just tell her, Penguin…I’m sure it’ll go well.”

“But how?”

“I don’t know!” Penguin relents just a bit and leans back a little when you push him, but he still stares you with those half-lidded blue eyes, its so hard for him to make out that it’s you still. “Just…tell her! Go up to her and say, ‘I love you’ and see what happens!”

He quiets, looking like he might be thinking even though he really should be laying down, before nodding and speaking again, like he’s practicing and has done so with Ikkaku multiple times. He has, you just don’t know right now, Ikkaku tells you this later down the line when you bring this day up to her.

“Okay…[Y/N]…?”

“Y-Yeah, Penguin?” you swallow, still wondering if this is actually happening or if you’re having a fever dream now. It can’t be real; it just can’t be. There’s no way Penguin loves you back, just no way.

“I…” His fever is hitting him again, he really should be laying down, but he doesn’t realize he’s doing this, “I…love you, [Y/N].”

You think he’s passing out when he starts to lean towards you but realize he’s not when he quickly kisses you, being actually passing out and his forehead hits your shoulder. He’s still burning up, from the fever or embarrassment you’re not sure, but now that he’s back asleep, you’re able to push him back to laying down again. Placing the washcloth back on his forehead, you don’t stay in the room and instead leave, quietly closing the door behind you while your face burns out of your own embarrassment and you finally take a real breath again.

That didn’t just happen. That DIDN’T just happen. He’s delusional because of the fever, right. Of course he is, he thought we were being invaded earlier. He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Hey, [Y/N], you go—”

You scream when Shachi places a hand on your shoulder and tries to ask what’s going on, making him scream too because you scared him just as badly as he scared you.

“What’d you scream for?!”

“You scared me!!”

“Well why were you so lost in your head?!”

“Because--!” You cut yourself off because you don’t really want to tell Shachi what happened, even when he gives you a concerned look before you start running towards your and Ikkaku’s room. “Nothing happened! I’m going to my room!!”

Shachi tries to stop you, but you’re gone too quickly. Now he’s starting to think you have a fever that’s making you crazy too, before he goes into the room Penguin’s been resting in and hears him mumbling something in his sleep about you. Most of the crew knows about Penguin’s crush on you, making Shachi wonder if his best friend’s fever induced state made him do something he shouldn’t have, or wasn’t really ready to.

“What the hell did you do, Pen?”

[bo0neey]

Smile! You're on TV

°●.°•*.•.○*•°

Pairing: Katniss x Reader, slight Effie x Reader

Fandom: The Hunger Games.

Synopsis: Congratulations! Your survived the Hunger games. As a Victor it's your job to secure the lives of your Tributes. But don't be disheartened by reputation, statistically district 12 has the same odds as every other district. Better yet, your Tribute this year actually looks promising. !Warning. Growing attached is for audiences only!

Type: Multi-Chapter

°●.°•*.•.○*•°

Chapter 1

°●.°•*.•.○*•°

"So. Y/n."

My sight is blinded. Bright lights strike me down, but it's not unusual, not unexpected by any means. Rather, I'd grown used to the spotlight. It gave me a strange sense of comfort because while I was under the scrutiny of many, I was also safe from the hands of others. Despite the brightness, I can still make out the blue haired man infront of me.

"Last years tributes barely lasted the blood bath."

Of course I'd have to be reminded of those lifeless faces; innocent eyes I'd never meet again with small voices only present in memories. They were so young. Always so young and will forever be young. 13 and 14 last year. 12 and 17 the year before. I remember all of them. Every single child I meet every single year. Even when the cameras stop rolling and the public forget, those stolen lives will weigh on my heart every day.

"With this years reaping just arround the corner, how are you feeling about your odds?"

I mentally curse Haymitch for not being here with me. He always got to miss public pleasing. I sat alone on the large velvet seating. I was the only Victor from 12 that they wanted on the show. I hated it. All of it. They call me a Victor but I've never felt like one.

"Well Caesar, twelves certainly not known for their performance but I'm feeling confident this year. I really think this seventy-fourth year might be ours." With years of practice, I site some generic response and put on my famous smile. Like every time before I twke the cheers as my que to turn and wave to the void of cameras and silhouettes.

"I hear this year marks your tenth anniversary! Let's take a trip down memory lane."

They begin rolling clips from my time in the arena. They span right from the first night up until I was shipped back to the capitol. While I couldn't bare to watch those faces again, every voice took me back to that dreaded fortnight. I only won because the Capitol showered me in donations. It should've been the boy from 4. Or even 6. While in the begining I was glad. I've grown to resent them. I've begun to envy them even. I wouldnt wish this life on anyone.

'Play the game and you'll be rewarded.' Thats what haymitch slurred the first night on the train. He was right, as usual. He's a smart man when he's not drowning in his own vomit although i do sometimes worry he's rotting that brain away.

"Amazing isn't she!" Caesar yells into the crowd. A mix of cheers and sobs come from the faceless mass.

"And while were all feeling nostalgic, let's rewatch the reaping shall we?"

It was sick. Hearing the response from the crowd and the glee in Caesars voice. I turn my attention to the screen and feel my eyes prick. I see a young girl gleefully skip onto the stage. Shes utterly clueless of the horrors waiting for her. Shes helpless to stop the world waiting for her. I want to scream, I want to scoop her up and protect her. I want to rip that stupid dress off her and wipe the makeup off.

But I also know how much she wanted it. I know how long she spent applying old colours to her face and how excited she was when her mother gifted her the dress for her first reaping. I know how much she wqnted to be a pretty girl on the screen. It would be cruel to take that away from her. She stands on the stage with such pride and cheerfulness, its no wonder the Capitol fell for her.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

I quickly blink my eyes. Ah, yes. This years reaping.

I scan my heavy eyes over the quiet crowd to see this Primrose only noone moves. Its deathly silent. Slowly a young girl begins to step forwards. I feel my heart drop. She's so small. So young. So scared. I want nothing more then to hug the poor girl. Her death has just been called and the only comfort she'll receive is a large camera pointed at her face.

Another young girl on my conscience, ten years running. I want nothing more to forget. To live in ignorance. But the only way to fight against this sick game is to remember. Keep these children perfectly preserved and alive somewhere. Even if I'll never get to see such lively souls grow into the adults they should.

[starletdust]

Hwehe.. sory for zo many rquztz :3 bwut can doll request cwg Mr rweca and bwaby sundawy trying to prwetend he not rwgresed ficlet?! (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) (/nf, take chu timwez adn twke breakz as well as hydratwe!)

(ownly if chu dwo ficlets ;0!)

cg mr reca + little sunday ficlet !!

ill probs crosspost this on literyely ao3

these ARE my breaks lolz …. i luv makin these pls request all u want (thank ufor reminding me to drink water ╥﹏╥)

i odnt know the word limit or something for a ficlet skrry in advance als o i thought of most of this during my chemsitry class KM RAMBLNG OKAY FICLET TIME

𝜗𝜚 — Sunday didn’t really know where he was going. The others had sent him back to the university after March and the Trailblazer started gushing about how much they wished to try some of the desserts a student had made again, and so Sunday had volunteered to go and get them — he was useful too! And he wanted the Express to start trusting him more.

He’d made it to the campus, but… he couldn’t find the stand they were talking about. Many of them had been emptied after the whole Slumbernana ordeal, having been soley based around the now infamous monkeys. He wandered aimlessly, fiddling with his gloves as he looked around. It was overwhelming, all the bright colors and the loud chatter that seemed to enshroud him. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone here at all — he never truly realized how loud Penacony was, since he was mostly inside The Family’s mansion working.

“Well, if it isn’t the Sunday of The Family,” a voice rang behind him, followed by a low croak. Sunday glanced over his shoulder, met with tired, red eyes. “Or, not anymore. I suppose that season has ended.”

Mr. Reca smiled, catching up to walk alongside the other rather than behind him. “Surprising to see such a high figure so.. lost, on his very own planet. No matter, I will assist you,” he declared, seemingly uncaring about the lack of response from Sunday.

“I’ll be fine,” he eventually managed, glancing away from Reca. His voice was meek, small; a stark contrast to how he was usually — at least, back then. He barely registered the brunet’s comment about his “bad acting” before he felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. “If you are refusing my help, then my assistant will aid you instead,” he said, again followed by a mechanical croak. Sunday’s wings fluttered. The little guy was cute, in an odd way. He nodded, his hands folded together — his mind felt fuzzy from the sudden attention.

The director didn’t comment on it, but it also wasn’t like Sunday was tuned in enough to actually realize the way Reca was a bit gentler in terms of Sunday’s performance and how he allowed him to stay close enough to brush shoulders consistently.

He silently led them to the dessert stall, picking a couple of things for the other Express members and something for the little (how he knew exactly what Sunday wanted didn’t really need to be shared). The whole outing had taken longer than expected, mainly with the new childlike wonder in how the halovian would linger at certain stalls with more kid-friendly souvenirs, but in the end Reca helped him back to the entrance and only left him when the regressed had finished his treat and handed him back his assistant.

[“DNI with this post if your blog is: NSFW, transandrophobic, anti-xeno, pro-israel, proship, basic DNI”]

didn’t know how 2 end it …… umms. ya hope u enjoyed like & subscribe

[heartedlystyled]

Abu's friend asked Abu to ask me if i would be comfortable to wear Hindu with a Burka.

I'm not huge on burkas because i get the got breath back and im already always hot anyways.

But his friend, Abu said that he found interesting that Hindu is a combination of my usual need for bling combined with Islam dress.

I said i would look for an appropriate outfit in Hindu wear to see if i would he comfortable in Hindu wear...

Its the land of the free, I can wear what i want...

Then we can across the girl on the left and he said "you already kind of dress that way anyways and your daughter, too!"

And i do... In NYC we had friends that were India Hindu, Americans, US military and we played with their kids... And i remember the grandma always seemed to open the door and she always wore the red dot on her forehead. She would stab it to make it upraised with a little needle and she would re tattoo it like every week or So...

It looked like a felt dot glued securely to her forehead.

And she often wore pink and green with gold sequin trim And she was always sewing.

So somehow as an adult, i began dressing my infant daughter that way as i always wore pants or ankle length dresses/skirts... Younger i would wear above the knee with panty hose... But longer meant more freedom like no pantyhose or having to shave above the mid calf... Just in case...

With my infant i would put a cute dress on her with jeans because she would get cold... Cause she couldn't keep socks on and the jeans would cover her feet...

Then as she got older wanting her comfortable to play like a boy but in a dress had me to put leggings on her...

Then for me cause i got excessively fat, I didn't feel comfortable in a shorter dress or skirt... So i also wear pants.

But I do wear spaghetti straps or strapless... Because i like it. It still covers my books so..

And I can understand going to the movies with Abu and his single friend and his friend asking me to wear a bit more than normal...

Its not against me at all.., its about respecting his friend Abu... Like he isn't all trying to be looking at me because hes just sitting and zoning into space... Or because he is looking at me and talking...

Like to go on double dates or in a group and the girls have to wear a certain way... I don't mind to change it up a little so they feel more comfortable... Im not afraid of being shunned.. Abu will ditch them in the parking lot.

Its about supporting a culture, friendship and family.

So if i wear a zebra print burka with pink highlights... Its not the same as Islam dress.. Yet... I'm still making an effort to appease a religious belief that i don't necessarily agree with...

That said I'm not into a burka... But something similar that's sheerer so i sont get too hot... Something similar to what some Hindu wear for special ceremonies.

Growing up in a melting pot of Earth... In NYC we spent A lot of nights sleeping in the Hindu's living room floor in piles of pillows and blankets and pizza. Chips and dip and soda, veggie plate me and gramma shared and the boys had to eat one of...

And we would watch 1 American movie like Ghost Busters or whatever was new and all the Hindu/India movies we wanted. A

Often times they weren't subtitled or in English. But we would watch and the gramma or the dad (they didn't have a nom either) would explain what was happening... A lot of times the boys would go out with my brothers and i would stay inside with the gramma and watch movies and ask her what they said, why their faces changed

Because the boys would understand the scene and they would make part of the movie themselves, like the TV extended to the living room floor and they would pantomime and act out and joke around about what they would do if they were there in the movie scene.

Usually I just watched... And handed supplies... The back drop wall flower watching the people I loved changing the movie scene they would want to have included in the movie each time we watched it...

I loved it

But i also wanted to know what we didn't see. What we missed by living. I wanted to see what was on the other side of the screen that wasn't paid attention to on those fun nights.

Gramma had difficulty with English and expression and sometimes she got embarrassed if it was a romantic scene... So i would go to the TV and point to the people and tell her what i thought they were doing in each scene.

So essentially while my own mother had been killed in front of me and all i could remember of her existence was blood splashing on the brown living room curtains...

This kind Hindu old lady without a daughter in law of her own that died in childbirth, delivering at home and only had grandsons... Taught me about life, relationships, life events, life expectations and expectancy.

I would skip school a lot to go hang out with her... Just not even go. She would open the door to let the boys out and see me and ask "school?" And i would shake my head no "not today"

Eventually my dad asked me why i hadn't been and told them i had to go to school... I would just sit outside her door all day until she went to laundry after lunch and thn i would follow her around the laundry mat downstairs in our apartment building.

So then she got to,walking us all to school... But she said it took too long,to,return home So she would ride her bike in the afternoon, tie it up to the bike rack and then walk us home... In the morning she would walk us to school and she would ride her bike home.

In the 4th grade my class had a window she would pass by to go to the bike rack and i would stand up and wait to see her go by.

She changed. She became leaner and softer and happier. She would let her hair down when she rode by on her bike. Literally letting it flow down behind her, for like miles... Then she would pin it right back up in a Chinese pin she called it.

She taught me about life. About living. And about surviving when even you yourself have no reason for continuing.

And although I was breaking the rules and she knew... She wouldn't let me in the house as she promised but if i helped her fold the laundry as she directed and helped her to twke them from rhe cart and hand the baskets to her frim the doorway she would tell me "you help me, i help you. Here is food" and she would give me lunch and a drink. And she would sometimes sit in the hallway floor with me and talk to me about the movie we watched AFTER school was let over and the boys were home. As my dad had said i could.

To me she wasn't an old lady with a red dot and Hindu clothing.

She was my very dear friend. Very close to my heart. To me, She had no age. She was as young as me, sometimes even younger but smarter. She told me all kinds of stories about her life in India, her son's life... All her children, her husband.

For me i was always in awe, mouth dropped at her tales, they were so beautiful and made her face change dramatically with her huge smiles or her eyes turning round and filling with tears...

Remember how i wrote she had a red dot that looked like felt glued down?

It was

That's exactly what it was.

But one summer it kept falling off. The summer after 3rd grade. The boys would be loud so she would say let's to go outside in the hall and talk.

And i had already caused a huge thing at school, predicting my friend Rose's death and having PTSD, having my 3rd grade teacher arrested as she was from China and would hit us with rulers and make us kneel in rice and peas (she killed herself in prison, she had a 2 year sentence) and so me hanging out with a Hindu lady... It was another story, another event for my file.

I remember a rather large black man would sit around the corner and listen. But she would say "he is spy, i cannot continue talking. It is not Chinese. It is not bad. I di nit want to go in But i do not feel comfortable. You tell me now about you"

"No way! I hate this shit!" So i confronted him. Over and over. Until finally she giggled and told me "invite him to conversate. Tell him sit in floor, like man But be handsome. But not too sexy no no no. He probably married anyway and I'm too old. But please hurry. I'm i get nervous"

"Oh please! Don't tell me! You're too old! You already have kids! You can't date!" I said veey loudly as i walked to the corner "up get -- HEY GET BACK HERE!!! SHE WANTS YOU TO SIT AND CONVERSATE!! don't be a dummy come on" i caught him nearmy running to,the staircase.

"Do you know how old i am? I'm nearly 40! You can't talk to me like that!"

"I can. I just did. Now please sit. Would you like something to drink? I can get you some kool-aid"

"What's she drinking?"

"Its gin"

"I would like some, too"

"What's gin?"

"Just go"

Finally i found what i knew gin was and i handed him a deck of cards.

I learned her tricks... When she's annoyed or uncomfortable or suspicious, she flirts. She acts like he's all over her and she's all flat drunk out... Y'all have seen me do them. The unlucky fall for them.

But he didn't and she was drinking water.

And he told her my story. The stories i hid. The stories i wish never happened. The stories i forbid to be spoken around me.

And i tuned my back to,them so they could not see me,cry or push my migraines away. And it continued for days. And she ran out of tissues and i had to use toilet paper for my nose.

Then her red dot, the eye of the God ran began to fall off her face, everyday. She got new glue. Stronger glue. And it will still fall.

So shr asked him "what is this? Why this fall?"

He said "if you ask me, She loves you and now you know you know what love is and you don't need that to protect you anymore"

"It is not to protect but to see"

"To look for love that i know about you Hindu. That is all you speak To her about. Its love. That i do know and now you know her pain and how much she needs you. You understand --- is that all you do us cry?"

"She speaks"

"You know what i want you to do is get that tattooed but in blue. Next time I come to see you, I'll bring a book i have been studying and i will show you, its perfectly acceptable to get a tattoo of it on your face,but an any color. Because you know why you identify eith her -- i mean why you are both friends with each other, is because you are both sad"

"She sad. I'm sad. So now I'm friends? With her, a small child? I am odd duck"

"Now now don't you smile, Sabrina don't you laugh at the old lady!"

"Shes funny! She's not ducking she's brave! And she's small not odd and she's sweet and even,you like her! You tell her to,get tattoo! You're strange if at all!" I blurted out... The first time I talked in weeks, it felt... In reality only about 5 days.

And so long conversations short... She used a blue pen to draw a star... As he said she was my star, my human North star, to help me find the light in life and she had came to me when my life was most darkest And i was extremely suicidal and had been caught trying to drown myself like umpteen times... Cause i wanted to die outside because it felt better than dying inside all stuffy and around people like Denise. And i wanted to drown in the river but someone always saw me. 8 years old and all... I had my desires in how to die. I wasn't stupid or mindless.

He said she had been given red as her felt dot, from a priest, because she had felt love. Still knew love, still wanted love and Still believed in it and Still looked for it.

But he said that sometimes the dot could change. It could change shapes, sizes and colors. And he said if her brain leaked out, it didn't leak love, it leaked sadness. So thus her permanent eye of ra should be blue. A light color blue not too dark because she allowed light and happiness to shine thru the tears of her world.

And that was what she had taught me... Once I learned the videos then I would interact with the TV... And the boys would watch and then we would all play along with what was on the either side of the screen and i taught them what i had learned from Granny Hindu.

She would watch us and cry. The dad would watch in shock and awe as his sons were finally being taught their native tounge and important parts of the movie and ceremonies. Sometimes he would cry.

Eventually he began wearing his Hindu traditional wear and they would get up and dance the traditional Hindu dance and teach us while we the the pillows and blankets up on the couch. And we would laugh

Of course my back would hurt easily and the boys, because of the dad, all eventually would pick me up and dance with me like i was a doll, then supporting my small amount of bony weight with their arms.

And the dad would do the granny..,her feet dangling at his knees would make me,laugh so heartily!!

The boys wouldn't pick me up so high... Mostly I would lean on their shoulders or elbows...

And so granny settled on blood sweat and tears as she realized it wasn't happiness she knew best but sadness.

And she got a light blue tear in the middle of her forehead, tattooed. And she would wear a jewel over it, shaped like a tear, as beautiful as ever. But sometimes she wore a larger than in the past, red felt circle over it... "I looked for love and i found it and it hid all my tears"

So of course I would dress myself and child subconsciously in Hindu like garb. And of course I would wear it when out with people of Islamic culture.

The tattoo shop which had done her light blue tear, eye of Earth had also shown hwr how to hand poke tattoos as is conventional in her home country of India. Although she had her ra in a professional tattoo gun.

The government spy man had arranged it for her. He also came to our weekend slumber parties, some times falling asleep after a long hard work day on the couch like a child and we would give him a blanket we ha from out massive pile and cover him. I would say "heres you a blankey" and usually he would take the corner with his massive black hand or sometimes just sigh, inhale nd exhale deeply. Usually me and the boys took turns to cover him.

Little children covering an over 6 foot tall almost 40 year old man.... Ages from 5 to 10...

Because that is what love is.

Sometimes he would start breakfast... After the first dozen times escaping in the night after catching up with his zzz's and we told,him if he was gonna,crash the slumber party with his big body probably breaking the couch with all his long bones and muscles then he needed to crash all the way and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Cause that was the best and breakfast in bed... Or the pile of blankets an sheets nd pillows like a nest for baby birds as we called it. That was the best part. After waking up woth friends we loved and understood when we felt most misunderstood in the world. Them being Hindu with a gramma with a red dot the tattoo in the middle of her forehead totally misunderstood was she a witch? Crazy? How old was she? 40? 100? And then us, watching our mother murdered, barely being able to remember her or just being able to,watch the blood spray md wonder and,cry where was our lovely mother? And the puking. The days and night of puking and puking from fear, disgust, worry and sadness. And still death seemed to follow us everywhere no matter how we predicted it or didn't or wanted it or didn't. Cared or didn't. Prayed or didn't. It was just there. Always there.

And so he would stay... Did we find him in granny bed above the covers cuddling fully clothed once or twice? Yea. And we decided it was better than Saturday morning cartoons and so we all silently munched cereal and watched them, sitting in her bedroom floor doorway... Until we feared they were dead and then I would whisper hey and he would jump awake from laying on her shoulder or sometimes boob/rib or gramma Hindu would slowly open her eyes and be in her little dreamlike state and the first few times was innocent "hey there's a man in your bed. That isn't s pillow laying on you" we would whisper

But there was that one time... That one time that she fully seduced him like the prowling cougar she is and it was a whole different Saturday morning when she clutched the blanket to,her chest and said "YOU KIDS GET OUT!!"

And I not understanding cried at her "Why are you acting Chinese!?!?! I'm not getting out until you explain!!!"

So i had to be explained that he was in his boxers and had been under the covers and they didn't want all the kids to see their privacy

And i said "Fine! I'll get out! But that's gross!!!"

Because at 8 thats what i believed.

"And you should have made breakfast or i wouldn't had known!!" And i spun on my heel and threw my hair in his face.

And Alex asked me "what's going on? I mean with them?"

"I can't talk about it" heavy slumped shoulders, neck aching "let's just watch TV that's better" he bugged on and on until i covered my head to avoid him and fall back asleep

But when i woke he asked again and i told him "they had sex"

And he called me a liar and herded all the boys to go ask.

And then they called me back to,the room so we could get an explanation

And I said "i don't want to hear all this shit. I know the birds and the bees. In and out it goes"

But he tried to talk to us about love...

But Alex threw up..

Because our mother's murderer whom used a chainsaw to her neck while we were all assembled to watch... Then said that exact same thing and had added "want to watch" as he raped our mom's nearly decapitated body.

He was right. Sadness would always exist because of love.

Well us kids didn't care about two consenting adults with their heads fully attached.. Unfortunately her son did and he was really an ass hole. Only caring about himself and his feelings, then put in for a transfer to move across country to get his 60 year old cougar momma away from a early 40 year old kitten...

Destroying his son's lives in the process... And ours... And even his own happiness

Instead of allowing his mother freedom to love.

But before all this the young thug kitten only looking for one thing So said the father, an alley cat, he was allowed gramma Hindu to hand poke a tattoo on his right toe. An S. With an astrick just tucked inside the bottom tail.

"Samaria"

That was Grandma Hindus name.

She gave herself the one i drew above... An S for Sabrina for helping her find Samaria again And of course the S for herself as well.. And two stars... One for the one we could see in her in the bottom and the other to honor the stars she could see... And she told me one for me and one for her for our friendship. And the F next to Because they were so most important to her... The F did get bigger over time and eventually became the same,size as the S as her family evolved and changed...

I suppose the story is true. She handpoked white in the "standing leg" of the F to represent the Father, her son of the family in anger because of the move.

She could have stabbed him to death. I would not had blamed her.

[ngirl64]

Similar Interests Part 16

Dark Pit:  *they reach the dining hall. Pit and Palutena just finished preparing the food*

Pit: Oh, great timing!

Rose: *still not trusting her words completely she waves*

Palutena: *she puts the food on the table* Foods ready to eat

Dark Pit: *he sits at the table*

Rose: *She sits next to Dark Pit*

Pit: *he and Palutena also sit at the table. He begins to eat but after a moment remembers what Dark Pit said in the Underworld. He then goofily smiles at him*

Dark Pit: *ignores Pit*

Rose: *she notices and blushes bright red.* S-So, th-thanks for m-making dinner.

Palutena: You’re welcome

Pit: No problem. Hope ya like it, hehe

Dark Pit: Mhmm.

Rose: *She takes some of the food and starts eating.*

Pit: Sooooooo. You two, huh? Ya dating?

Dark Pit: *sighs* I was waiting for that

Rose: *Face flushed she nods.* Uhh, y-yeah we are. *She faces Pit* But don’t you start teasing us about it. Ok?

Pit: Hehe, ok. Just funny to see Doom and Gloom Pitto find someone he loves

Dark Pit: Don’t call me Pittoo

Palutena: *she giggles a little* Well, i think it’s sweet

Rose: *She hides her face and mumbles* I’ll slap you if you try anything Pit

Pit: Heheh… Don’t worry, i won’t do anything

Dark Pit: Except keep that goofy look on his face

Rose: *She keeps eating and doesn’t look at anyone, too embarrassed to say a word*

Pit: *Doesn’t take long to him to finish eating, as usual*

Dark Pit: *continues eating, eventually finishing*

Rose: *After finishing her meal she sat there for a while, waiting for everyone else to leave so she could talk to Palutena alone*

Palutena: *after they’d all finished eating she began to clean up*

Pit: I’ll clean up today, Lady Palutena *takes over the cleaning*

Palutena: Oh thanks, Pit

Dark Pit: *He stands up from the table, stretching his wings*

Rose: *She looks over to Palutena her expression clearly asking to talk with her*

Palutena: *she notices and walks with Rose to a different room* What is it you want to talk about?

Rose: *A tear falls from her eye* I wanted to apologise for everything not just attacking Pit. The fact that you found out about my job. But most importantly I wanted to know, have there ever been any times where a mortal has dated an angel? I just don’t wanna mess things up for us.

Palutena: Rose, don’t worry. It’s ok. If it makes you feel better, i’ve put Pit into some seriously dangerous situation. And i went through a similar situation of being controlled. I even turned Pit into a Ring from it. As for your job, while it may not be the greatest, i can understand the reasons to it. But, for a mortal and angel dating, i don’t recall there ever being a time like that. You and Dark Pit are the first ones. All i can really say is to follow your heart and it’ll lead you on the right path in your relationship.

Rose: *She rubs her neck and laughs nervously* Heh, yeah.

Palutena: You’ll both do fine. I can tell you both really love each other, so whatever bad things that may happen will just make your relationship stronger

Rose: *She sighs* Ok, thank you Palutena. *She stands up and hugs her*

Palutena: *she hugs back, smiling* you’re welcome

Rose: *walks off to find Dark Pit.*

Palutena: *goes back to Pit to make sure he hasn’t boke anything*

Dark Pit: *was walking along the corridors of the Temple and sees Rose. he then flies over to her* Hello

Rose: Hey Dark Pit, *She yawns* I was wondering if you wanted to go and lay down for awhile.

Dark Pit: Sure. you seem tired

Rose: *She nods* I am.

Dark Pit: Then let’s go sleep

Rose: *She walks to a bedroom with Dark Pit*

Vallerie: *Walks to Pit and holds up a messy drawing for him* I mwde thith! I mwde it for wou!

Pit: *he kneels down and looks at the drawing* Aww, wow. Great drawing Vallerie! Thank you!

Vallerie: Pwt, I fink Cawol mwy wike wou. But shw no wanwa twll wou.

Pit: H-huh?? *he slightly blushes*

Vallerie: ywp. Shw swys wou a nwce pwrson. Swys tat wou would bw nwce to hwlp me.

Pit: A-aww. Well, she’s really nice too. And i’ll always help you when you need it, Vallerie

Vallerie: *She reaches up to hug him* Whw wou rwd? Cawol gets rwd when I twlk abwut wou. Dw wou wike Cawol?

Pit:*he hugs back and blushes a bit more from her question* u-uuhhh… heheh… s-she’s very nice and w-well… i-i guess so, heheh…

Vallerie: *She pokes at Pit’s cheeks and giggles* Wou showld twlk wif hwr! Wou two would be cwte twogefer!

Pit: H-heheh… i-i guess i could talk to her. *his blush darkens once more, covering more of his face now*

Vallerie: Yay! I go gwt hwr!!!! *She runs off*

Pit: *realising the situation more, he covers his face with a wing*

Carol: *A few moments later Carol comes up being pushed by Vallerie* Vallerie, please. *She runs into Pit and she blushes* Ah, s-sorry.

Pit: *moves his wing away from his face* i-it’s ok. *he shyly smiles to her*

Carol: *She blushed* I-I’m s-so sorry about V-Vallerie sometimes sh-she t-tries to d-do a lot of things. Sh-She knew about Rose and D-Dark Pit. S-So she’s been t-trying t-t-to g-ge

Vallerie: I been gwtting wou a bwyfirnd!!!!!

Pit: heheh… s-she’s p-pretty determined in what she does, huh?

Carol: *She rubs her neck* Y-Yeah She is.

Pit: s-so… is w-what Vallerie said, true? Y-you l-like me?

Carol: *her face gets even more red.* H-Heh. Y-Yeah. I-I do.

Pit: *his blush darkens* W-well, i-i l-like you t-too

Vallerie: Yay! I go tw fwnd Palutwna! *She runs off*

Carol: Vallerie No!

Pit: Oh boy *he covers his face with his wings, his whole face red*

Carol: *Spreads her wings and flies after Vallerie*

Pit: *he follows and runs after them*

Carol: *Catches Vallerie and stops flying.* Vallerie you can’t do stuff like that. 

Vallerie: Bwt wou alwys swy to be twue to pwple.

Carol: I do say that, but you need to know. *She kneels to her height* Something certain things need to stay between people. 

Pit: *he catches up to them* Oh, you caught her. *he sighs of relief*

Vallerie: *She looks at the ground and sniffles* I sowwy, I no do agwn

Pit: Alright. *he kneels down to her* 

Vallerie: I just wan a mommy and daddy. Mine went on a trwp awd never came bwck. Pwople wan to twke me awy bwt i frought mommy and daddy would com home. Den I mwt Cawol! Shw was a mommy to me. *She looked at Pit* Pwt do wou know where my mommy and daddy are?

Pit: U-uhhh….. Well… I’m sorry, Vallerie. But i-i… don’t think they’ll be coming back *not wanting to break the news but tires to say in a different way*

Vallerie: I kow thith. Bwt if wou find them. Twll thwm I wove thwm.

Carol: *She wiped a tear from Vallerie’s eye.* It’s ok Vallerie. We’ll let them know. 

Pit: *His wings dropped a little* Yeah. We will

Vallerie: *She hugged Pit and yawned* I trwed can I sweep?

Pit: *He hugged back* Of course. Let’s get you to bed

Carol: *She sends a grateful look to Pit.*

Vallerie: *She yawned again and reached up for someone to pick her up*

Carol: *Bends down and picks up Vallerie* After you Pit.

Pit: *he nods and walks to the bedroom for Vallerie*

RP Master Post